CATEGORY

SATIRE / PARODY

New Grievance Group Formed

Estimated Reading Time: 5 minutes

A fantasy about hundreds of minority groups demanding recognition after being excluded from diversity and inclusion initiatives. TUCSON – Hundreds of minority groups excluded from diversity and inclusion initiatives can now join the Federation of Real Minorities, or FORM. Membership is open to anyone from an ethnocultural group that comprises less than three percent of […]

Kurt Vonnegut’s Dystopia Arrives 60 Years Sooner than Imagined

Estimated Reading Time: 2 minutes

From new reports that people sent me: In the name of equity (i.e., equal outcomes by race), the Virginia Department of Education is moving to eliminate all accelerated math options prior to 11th grade, effectively keeping higher-achieving students from advancing as they usually would. Because news coverage on the left and right is so pitifully biased, […]

Major League Baseball Hits a Foul Ball

Estimated Reading Time: 4 minutes

Soon after the announcement that Major League Baseball has become an auxiliary to the Democrat Party, MLB Commissioner Manfred Pelosi announced new initiatives. The following is an excerpt from a recent press conference held at league headquarters: In our fight for social justice and since we adhere to the definition of social justice developed by […]

I’m Trying to Be More Asian and Less White

Estimated Reading Time: 2 minutes

That’s what Coca-Cola wants me to do. A diversity training program at Coca-Cola gives pointers on how to be less white. I’m going to take it to heart and try to be more Asian, in ways that I’ll describe momentarily. First, as background, the program said that the way to be less white is to: be […]

Glossary of Racial Euphemisms

Estimated Reading Time: 2 minutes

Below are ubiquitous words parroted by the media, academia, industry, and government that doesn’t mean what you might think they mean.  Following each word is its true meaning. Race:  A social construct that has no basis in genetics but has been used historically to divide people for political purposes and is used today for the […]

It Snowed Last Night

Estimated Reading Time: 2 minutes

At 8 o’clock this morning, I made a snowman. Then at….. 8:10 – A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn’t make a snow woman. 8:15 – So, I made a snow woman. 8:17 – My feminist neighbor complained about the snow woman’s voluptuous chest saying it objectified snow women everywhere. 8:20 – […]

Reflections on Christmas 2020 and 1968

Estimated Reading Time: 3 minutes

Whether they were atheist, Christian, Jewish, Muslim, Hindu, Confucian, or anything else, one of the most moving experiences of humanity was the message of the Apollo 8 astronauts on Christmas Eve, 1968, as they left lunar orbit and headed for the blue and white planet of Earth, which stood out in the blackness of space. […]

BIDEN CALLS FOR CIVILITY AND NATIONAL HEALING

Estimated Reading Time: 2 minutes

Former Senator, Vice President and the new President-Elect Joe Biden has called on America to stand for “civility and national healing.” In a national address, the candidate squinted into the teleprompter and spread his signature chop gesture across the lectern. “I am the only candidate who can interest the press in healing the fissures which […]

Hunter and Joe, Plutocrats and Hypocrites Extraordinaire

Estimated Reading Time: 3 minutes

It’s hard to believe, but they even surpass Republicrats and Republicrites in phoniness and laughing at the hoi polloi. The Wall Street journal recently ran a 2,420 word essay that details the sordid international dealings of Joe Biden’s son Hunter and Joe’s brother, James Biden. Unfortunately, the article is 2,420 words too long for the tweet […]

U of A Faculty & Staff Arrested: FBI agents and U.S. Marshals took them away in handcuffs for a scheme to defraud taxpayers of $435 billion.

Estimated Reading Time: 3 minutes

TUCSON – As part of a nationwide federal sting operation named “Bring Social Justice”, deans and top administrators from the Tucson-based University of Arizona were arrested at their homes last night and taken away in handcuffs by FBI agents and U.S. Marshals for what could be the biggest fraud in U.S. history. The operation also […]