Tag Archive for: Fatherlessness

The Catastrophe of 12 Million Fatherless American Boys

Estimated Reading Time: 4 minutes

Editors’ Note: Although the following article is written from a Christian perspective, one need not be Christian to appreciate the role of fathers. Jews, Muslims, Hindus, Buddhists, and atheists, can concur as well. The Left’s attack on men in general, masculinity itself, and the specific attack on white males has created much of this problem. But men have contributed to it as well, with a casual attitude towards sex and its inevitable consequences, and women who defy biological reality and want to be as casual about sex as men. Whatever the complex factors, as a society we must push for the ideal of a long-term marriage between a man and a woman. Other arrangements such as same-sex marriages are tolerated, but they are not relationships that will produce children. For households that do produce children, there is simply no way as a society can we continue to ignore the impact of fatherless households. As heroic as many single mothers are, and as effective as many single mothers can be, the data shows that this is likely more the exception than the rule.

 

Amongst the heated public rhetoric in the aftermath of the Uvalde school massacre, one tragic detail remains stubbornly paramount: the 18-year-old male shooter came from a broken family and was estranged from his father.

While it would certainly be unfair to pin all the blame for monstrous crimes committed by young men on the failings of their parents without considering other factors, there’s no denying what is arguably the central issue facing our nation (and what the Left persistently brushes aside): the breakdown of marriage and the children that grow up fatherless as a result. The Institute for Family Studies recently summed up the situation well: “The decline of marriage and the rise of fatherlessness in America remain at the center of some of the biggest problems facing the nation: crime and violence, school failure, deaths of despair, and children in poverty.”

American boys are at the center of this crisis: they grow up to commit crimedrop out of school, and take their own lives at far higher rates than women do. From 1960 to 1996, the percentage of boys who lived without their biological father almost doubled—from 17% to 32%. Today, the Institute for Family Studies reports that “an estimated 12 million boys are growing up in families without their biological father.”

The result of this implosion of intact families has been absolutely catastrophic for society, particularly for boys. A recent study conducted by the Institute for Family Studies found stark disparities among fatherless boys compared to their peers with fathers in college graduation (14% versus 35%), idleness at ages 25-29 (defined as not working and not looking for work—19% versus 11%), and who have been incarcerated by ages 15-19 (31% versus 21%) and ages 28-34 (21% versus 10%).

Common sense tells us why this is the case. As Adam B. Coleman has astutely observed, involved fathers provide critical guidance to their sons in a host of ways. In particular, they offer:

  • “a blueprint for manhood”;
  • “a source of protection” and a “source of security” from the outside world;
  • “a builder of confidence and a teacher for how to regulate your emotions in stressful situations”; and
  • “the son’s purpose compass as he helps guide him throughout the trials of adolescence towards purposeful adulthood.”

This fatherly nurturing is especially critical during a boy’s childhood and as they approach the teen years. As Family Research Council’s senior research fellow George Barna has written, “Because a worldview is fully developed before the age of 13, young children listen to and watch their parents for clues on how to live an appropriate and successful life.”

Scripture clearly stipulates why an engaged father is so critical during childhood: “Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it” (Proverbs 22:6).

But as common sense also tells us, more responsible fathers aren’t going to just magically appear in our society, despite the best efforts of liberal masculinity lessons. Good fathers are formed through good marriages, just as our Creator designed it (Matthew 19:4-6). As the Institute for Family Studies notes, “[W]e must … revive our most fundamental bond, marriage because it connects men to their sons in a way nothing else does.”

So how can we promote healthy marriages in order to forge the capable fathers that our country so desperately needs? It’s a project all of us must be involved in, and it can take the form of doing practical things like those of us who are fathers talking honestly about fatherhood to our bachelor friends, inviting them into our family and community life, taking an active role in mentoring young men in our circles of influence, and yes, setting up eligible bachelors with eligible bachelorettes in our social circles.

In regard to the more immediate problem of the current crop of fatherless boys in our country, we can ask our representatives to look into passing bills that strengthen fatherhood and mentorship. There are also many practical ways we can minister to the fatherless. We can start by keeping our ears to the ground in our local communities so that we are ready to provide mentorship to the boy next door who we know is living in a single-parent household. This could simply involve inviting them over to play with our kids as often as we can so they can witness healthy Christian family life. Or we may consider getting involved in more formal after-school mentorship programs or other national mentorship programs.

While there is admittedly a multitude of factors that have led to the fatherhood crisis we find ourselves in here in America, one thing is certain: nothing will change unless we are willing to help cultivate genuine, godly masculinity and fatherhood in our own families and communities.

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This article was published by Daily Signal and is reproduced with permission.

Sorry Libs, You Can’t Replace Dads With Government

Estimated Reading Time: 3 minutes

It’s been said that America can always be counted on to do the right thing, once we have exhausted all the other alternatives. As of Father’s Day 2022, America has spent about 60 years exhausting the alternatives to fatherhood — and the collateral damage is all around us.

Broken families. Gutted communities. Betrayed women. Terrified children. Busy morgues. And overflowing prisons. (RELATED: LUKAS: Let Girls Be Girls. Protect Them From The Left’s Gender Agenda)

The evidence is so overwhelming that it’s not really controversial anymore. Children who grow up without their fathers — especially in communities where fatherlessness has become the norm —carry the heaviest social, economic, and psychological cross social science can measure. The mountain of data is nothing short of Himalayan.

Children raised in single-parent homes constitute:

63% of teen suicides;
90% of runaways and homeless children;
85% of behavior disorder patients;
71% of high school dropouts;
75% of teenagers in substance abuse rehab centers;
85% of young prison inmates.

This is what we have to show for the trillions of dollars spent and the decades of research conducted. If there was a way for a social worker or a bureaucracy or a government check to fill the Dad-shaped hole in America’s broken families, we would have found it by now.

It doesn’t exist. Three generations of elites — from Washington to Hollywood — have promised young Americans that severing the natural connections between sex, marriage, commitment, kids, and parenthood would be “liberating.” As the statistics above show, it’s been anything but.

The only solution to fatherlessness is fathers. And we have to figure out a way to say so, even in these hypersensitive times.

Our culture has gone to such laudable lengths to de-stigmatize single motherhood that we now accidentally denigrate married fatherhood. We work so hard to affirm non-traditional gender roles and family structures that we have forgotten just how valuable they have always been.

Fatherhood isn’t about being a male. It’s about being a man. Fatherhood harnesses masculinity for the good of society, so the community benefits along with the family, and each individual father as he grows into his vocation. The strength, courage, dependability, honesty, accountability, gentleness, toughness, and protectiveness that define real masculinity keeps children safe, wives happy, and trouble at bay. A fish may or may not need a bicycle, but women and children very much need men.

We know what actual toxic masculinity looks like. It looks like boys raised without men: insecure, vulgar, misogynistic, angry, ignorant, violent, confused, and above all, scared.

In every poor community in America, from opioid-riddled Appalachia to violent inner cities, every boy who doesn’t know how to be a man and every girl who doesn’t know she deserves one, is crying out into that empty void in their homes and in their hearts, “Father, father, why have you abandoned me?”

That question cannot be answered, or that agony soothed, with universal health care or a “Build Back Better” plan. The measurable, material benefits of intact families — the second income and additional caregiver — are the least important ones. What really matters is not what fathers do, but what they are.

For two generations now, America’s elite institutions have devalued what they are, through a welfare state that penalizes work and marriage, an education system that punishes boyishness, and a culture that scolds chivalry as abusive and masculinity itself as toxic. It turns out, that dads are just one more thing our failed elite class was wrong about.

Father’s Day is a reminder that what our broken culture, struggling single moms, and frightened kids need is not another program or policy, but a person.

Dads: accept no substitutes.

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This article was published by The Daily Caller News Foundation and is reprinted with permission.  Keven Roberts is President of the Heritage Foundation.